Cheyne Links

Posting Stuff Other People Found

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There is no settling down without some settling for. There is no long-term relationship not just putting up with your partner’s flaws, but accepting them and then pretending they aren’t there. We like to call it in my house “paying the price of admission.”

…You can’t have a long-term relationship with someone unless you’re willing to identify the prices of admission you’re willing to pay — and the ones you’re not. But the ones you’re not — the list of things you’re not willing to put up with — you really have to be able to count [them] on one hand…

People, when they’re young, have this idea… “There’s someone out there who’s perfect for me”… “The one.”

“The one” does not fucking exist.

“The one” is a lie. But the beautiful part of the lie is that it’s a lie you can tell yourself.

Any long-term relationship that’s successful is really a myth that two people create together … and myths are built of lies, and there’s usually some kernel of truth…

When you think about it, you meet somebody for the first time, and they’re not presenting their warts-and-all self to you — they’re presenting their idealized self to you, they’re leading with their best. And then, eventually, you’re farting in front of each other. Eventually, you get to see the person who is behind that facade of their best, and they get to see the person your facade, your lie-self — this lie that you presented to them about who you really are. And what’s beautiful about a long-term relationship, and what can be transformative about it, is that I pretend every day that my boyfriend is the lie that I met when I first met him. And he does that same favor to me — he pretends that I’m that better person than I actually am. Even though he knows I’m not. Even though I know he’s not. And we then are obligated to live up to the lies we told each other about who we are — we are then forced to be better people than we actually are, because it’s expected of us by each other.

And you can, in a long-term relationship, really make your lie-self come true — if you’re smart, and you demand it of them, and you’re willing to give it to them… That’s the only way you become “the one” — it’s because somebody is willing to pretend you are. “The one” that they were waiting for, “the one” they wanted, their “one.” Because you’re not — nobody is. No two people are perfect for each other, ever, period — No two people are 100% sexually compatible, no two people are 100% emotionally compatible, no two people want the same things. And if you can’t reconcile yourself to that, you will have no relationships that last longer than two months.

Dan Savage (via sometimesagreatnotion)

This, people. This is so true.

1 note

25 Ways To Ask Your Kids “So how was school today?” Without Asking them “So how was school today?”

brittanygibbons:

You know, when you want more of an answer than “stuff” or “nothing.”

Love this!

45,668 notes

deliciouskaek:

3modagawd:

dragonheartedrabbit:

"Waste of good ammo. It’s my privilege to buy you a replacement box."

"All self-respecting whites have a moral responsibility to support our growing number of martyrs to the failed experiment called diversity."

"I thank all Police, you are the ‘Thin Blue Line’ protecting normal Americans from aggressive and entitled primitive savages. America is surely at the tipping point."

Just a few quotes (in case it’s hard to read) from that collection of donation messages for Darren Wilson.

Does anyone else want to say it’s not about race?

"I wouldve donated double this amount but you missed his accomplice" I swear to fucking god…

these people are pure evil. not misguided, not confused, nope.

evil to their cores

This is so disgusting. 

(via booasaur)

52,399 notes

bowls-blunts-bhombs:

anarcho-queer:

Ferguson Police conveniently forgot to publicly release this part of the footage.

It shows Michael Brown paying for the pack of cigars he supposedly stole.

The officer who murdered Michael did not know he was a ‘suspect of a robbery’, so the tape of him ‘stealing’ the cigars have no relation to the killing.

But this footage is important because it proves that the police are trying to justify Mike’s murder by slandering his character.

Important!

(via aubrey-plaza)

431 notes

afrobluess:

They thought that they could slide a black police officer into Ferguson and have him shake hands with the protesters so that everyone would go home and forget about Mike Brown’s murder. Now they’re shocked because people are still protesting and asking for answers. You can’t slap a band-aid on injustice.

(via thespacesamidlove)